hhaahhahaha ok ok ok

so last night we were watching 1000 ways to die and i saw this segment and alllll i could think about while i was watching it is how i wanted the words to be my new xbl info hahaha, but it was a brand new ep so i was bummed coz i couldnt remember them all and i wanted to do justice to the lines, so i tracked down the clip finally after looking for like 10 mins, this is my old xbl bio thingy just incase i want to switch it back later;

dear diary, today we is headin out on the oregon trail, our trail guide be some crazy nig, his name captain jed freeman, he must be a freeman, but seein how it be 1860, and wes in missouri, i dont see how that be possible. we are considerin turnin him into the authorities for a handsome reward of 3 virgin quaker girls, or waitin till winter come rollin round when we need extra food for the animals.

heres the clip of that i saw last night;

http://www.spike.com/video/window-pained/3107895

and heres what im putting in my bio (i changed the name to brets and she so it wouldnt confuse people too much, and also so it wouldnt cause the ghost of arnold moss to haunt me for using his story in my bio);

theres nothing like a full moon to bring out the freaks, say hello to brets scotch, when bret freaks, she peeps, into windows, bret couldnt believe her luck, shed never seen anyone make love to a refrigerator before, during the day bret was an introverted wimp, she would have never had the guts to go up to a woman this hot- but tonight she /was/ the popsicle, bret was so aroused she broke the number one rule for a peeping perv ‘stay outside the window’ but she had lost control, she leaned in too far, Su Su went kuku, and it all came crashing down, right on her pencil thin neck, bret finally learned her lesson, its not cool to peep on people, youre breaking the law, and like bret here, your neck

but i gotta shorten it somehow to only 499 characters, so im workin on that now

over and out

edit; so this is what i could come up with with my various tweaks, i think its pre dece

theres nothing like a full moon to bring out the freaks, say hello to bret, when bret freaks she peeps, bret couldnt believe her luck, shed never seen anyone make love to a refrigerator before, during the day bret was an introverted wimp, she would have never had the guts to go up to a woman this hot but tonight she /was/ the popsicle, bret was so aroused she broke the number one rule for a peeping perv ‘stay outside the window’ but she had lost control,she leaned in too far and SuSu went KuKu

kkk, im posting all the ones i think of here as ref

one day i was walking down the street all do diddly do like, when i heard a girl crying, i went over to her and said, pray tell, why do you cryith, the chick turned to me and said, im laughing so hard its making me cry, i put my hand on her shoulder and said, in that case, cry my dear, tears make the best lube