new adventure

alright guys, i have this super cool idea but first i have to explain the events leading up to said idea

so, it went a little something like this, my mom wanted to go to this asian store to look for liquid collagen because shes always on the lookout for crazy things like that, anyways she wanted me to go too and i was like, alright lets do thissss, really in my head i was thinking, oh man asian store, this is going to be good for some lols, because they always have the craziesssttt things, usually involving penis

so we get there and im looking around and i see this, which i had to covertly take a pciture of because my mom was like, dont doo thatttt, and i was like, whatttt its funnyyyy, its a butt but theres a peach on the box and the butt is like 3d and entices you to touch it, like back buh buh back that butt up, theres so many ways we could psychologically interpret this item, what does it /really/ mean, it cant just be a hip cream, or can it?



el oh el oh el oh el

ok continuing on with the story, so then i was wondering around the bowls section and i saw power rangers themed chop sticks and thats when it hit me, i needed to implement a new experiment using an asian bowl and chopsticks, and eat everything i normally eat using only these two tools, i also plan on using the chopsticks to knit

meet my new pals, green chopsticks, for luck as thats my favorite color and a plastic yet awesomely cool bowl with crazy, possibly rabid monkeys on it, i could draw fangs on the monkeys to spice it up a bit, or dicks to make it more authentically asian, but at the risk of looking like that kid from superbad, but we shall see, im in the process of thinking of names for these little buggas



my history with chopsticks goes back to my days in high school when we had a little love affair involving me obsessing over chopsticks, not to eat with, but to use as a drumming instrument in my car as i drove and for impromptu drum circles in random places, i also enjoyed chewing on them, but thats a different story, people used to buy me chopsticks as gifts because it was a well known fact that i lost them often, but i think ive ascended that level of douchbaggery and now id like to reunite with my long lost love to form an alliance and to finally use them for what they were made for; eating, and knitting

so while i polished my moms hardwood floors, which is by far my most favorite cleaning thing to do, (they shine so much, like theyre brand new) i decided to full on jump into it and ill use my other great scotch blog to document this expedition, also a note on cleaning, i loveeee cleaning for other people, like were having a bbq today so i was like speed cleaning and staging my moms house (which im in love with, i was like, mommy when you die can i have your house, she said yes) ok yeah i was speed cleaning and i figure if there was ever a competition of who could clean most efficiently and effectively in the least amount of time, id be the world champion, we could even do a show about it that was similar to iron chef, id have a cool title and people could choose to challenge me

alright, thats all for now, oh also note i didnt get the power rangers chopsticks because i figured theyd be hard to knit with because theyre super small, but i may or may not alter my plan and go and get them just to have two pairs

oh also my moms mothersday birdfeeder is awesome, i put glow in the dark paint on it so it glows at night kakakaka